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FEBRUARY TDM.
● ● ● T D M . 0 5
… What are you willing to do to erase your regret from existence?
The words ring in your ears as in the darkness of your dream, an ocean-deep blue glow hovers in front of you. Transfixed, you reach out to it... only to hear a different voice, a distant echo of cruel laughter, and with a sudden certainty you know — whatever you’ve just agreed to has changed everything forever.
It is to this laughter that you wake, and as it fades and your heart slows into something resembling a normal tempo, you notice something you should have noticed immediately: you are not in your bed.
1.0 White walls, clinical yet clean, sparsely-furnished rooms. You may wake in one of three rooms: a room with only one bed, a room with two beds, or a room with four beds. Those waking up in rooms with more than one bed notice that they are very much not alone. Perhaps the other occupants of the room are still sleeping, dreaming the same dream as you just did, or a regular one after returning to the station just barely a week ago … or perhaps you wake to the other person in the room watching you.
What you do is entirely up to you: yell in surprise when you wake to someone staring at you? Or maybe you’ll try to sneak away before anyone notices you...
2.0 Those with life-threatening injuries find themselves awakening in the infirmary, in a regular hospital bed. Most of their injuries have been treated, and any lingering illnesses or conditions will have designated medicine bottles on the table next to the bed.
White curtains surround the bed on both sides, giving an illusion of privacy. But is that a rustling sound you hear? Some footsteps? Perhaps you’re not the only one in need of some medical attention... or you've attracted the attention of those with experience in medical aid, and they rush to your bedside, surprised about this sudden new patient.
It is not just for your injuries that you may want some company, but also for leaving the infirmary — you can’t stay there forever, after all, and will have to make your way through the hallways of the station to the living quarters, and claim a room and a bed there.
Once you’re up, you may notice there’s something in your ear: an earpiece that, when you become aware of it, quickly runs you through the instructions for how to use the network, a recorded message by a female voice that explains exactly why you’re here… and leaves you with a map of the station.
So what else is there to do but to explore? Best get to know what is now your new home.
3.0 When trying to decide where yo go, you may find your way to the armory, where you can try to work the machine there to make yourself a weapon — perhaps to replace one that didn’t come with you to the station… or maybe you want to be prepared for the future. The recently-returned team members will surely recommend having a functional weapon with you.
And speaking of weapons: to put it to good use, head to the training room, where the entire purpose is to provide you with a space to spar and train to your heart’s content!
4.0 After you’ve exhausted yourself training, it’s time to grab a bite. For that, you should head to the kitchen, which is equipped with all the basic appliances you might need, and ingredients for most regular dishes... and large amounts of chocolate. Weird.
5.0 A welcome reprieve to the cold, dark space that surrounds the characters can be found in the sunlight room. A skillful illusion surrounds anyone who steps inside the room: you can hear the trilling of birds, feel a light breeze caress your skin as you walk through a grass field. It seems that the illusion reflects the season — the leaves have fallen, a layer of white covers the ground, and the air is crisp and clean. If you follow the path, it leads to where a bridge rises over a brook that has now iced over — but maybe don't try your luck walking on it, as the ice may crack underneath your feet and you'll find yourself plunging into the freezing water.
Regardless of whether you like the wintery atmosphere, it is easy to forget you are in space at all. Perhaps that gives you comfort, or just makes you miss the real nature all the more.
6.0 If you’d rather choose tinkering over nature, the lab is guaranteed to provide you with some entertainment. Glass vials and jars of chemicals sit on shelves in a surprisingly beautiful display of colour on one side of the room, while the other side of the room contains stacks of boxes containing assorted equipment: cords, bolts, panels, buttons, gears, gadgets, gizmos, and thingamabobs. The downside is that the parts available seem to have no apparent method to their sorting. So get digging, and you may just find exactly what you need to make what you’ve always wanted to make!
7.0 If it’s items you’re lacking, though, some time after your arrival, the earpiece alerts you to a new message.
Indeed, the platform near the personal quarters is still whirring with power, and new items form neat piles on it. There’s clothes, shoes, dishware, skincare, books… even a couple of CDs, and a few cute stuffed animals. So sort through what there is and grab what you want, before someone else does!
Eventually, you’ll find yourself at the doors of the the simulation room — it has been equipped with a new simulation to take you through possible mission-like scenarios so it’s best to prepare yourself and see what it has in store for you.
8.0 The doors slide shut behind you and the room goes dark. Small pinpricks of light will start to build on each other until you’re surrounded by grey skies overhead and grassy green lawns, a row of old stone columns lining your vision. It seems you’re in a courtyard of some kind, but that’s not all. Something tugs at the hem of your sleeve or nudges at your leg, a warm presence that feels comfortable and ultimately very familiar. They look up at you, or maybe they meet your eye-level, a creature that varies in size, shape, colour, and form depending on what reflects you best. This creature, known as a compalion is a physical manifestation of your spirit or soul and will stay by your side on this journey.
You can stay here and get to know your compalion, or you can take your new companion and explore the campus. Because, if you do move forward past the line of columns (a hallway it turns out), you’ll find that the small cluster of buildings forms an academic campus of some kind.
a) They cannot go any further than a few yards away from their person; the further the distance, the more painful the separation will feel.
b) Your compalion will shift into one form throughout this simulation and can be any creature that best mirrors your personality.
c) They can be as small as a flea and as large as a small elephant; get creative!
d) Whether they speak to you in your native tongue is entirely up to you (some speak, some don’t)
e) Basically daemon rules apply.
9.0 While it might seem like fun to spend hours just exploring the old buildings with your compalion and any Orbers like you that you might bump into along the way, it’s important to remember that you have a goal to achieve: follow the clues and retrieve the orb. Your compalion might offer an idea or two for where to go, or it may just be voicing the thoughts in your head, but it’s not a bad thing to follow your heart (or your gut) as it were. You might find that the rooftops of the campus buildings are easily climbable to get a good vantage point of your location. (Just be careful not to slip and fall! The height from here is quite dangerous.) A clocktower stands proud in the distance among a cluster of other campus buildings, marking the time.
Inside, you might be led down dark stone halls and into a series of classrooms: including reading quarters, study rooms with old leather couches and warm carpets covering stone floors; lecture halls with stiff wooden seating and individual desks to match, a chalkboard with indiscernible scribbles half-wiped away; and a laboratory that deals with something a little less modern than you might be used to, or perhaps with its twisty vials and bubbling potions, it suits you perfectly. There is the large library filled from floor to ceiling with books beyond imagining.
If you look out from the tall arch-shaped window from a classroom, or if you’re outside and you tilt your head up to the sky, you might notice that the sky appears to be darkening further, growing heavy with what is inevitably an oncoming rainstorm. If you’re inside, it might be best to stay indoors; if you’re outside, perhaps it’s time to find some shelter. Or if you’re determined to find that orb outside, risk you and your compalion getting wet.
● ● ●
N O T E: Additionally, there are three personal tasks provided to each character as they enter the simulation. In-game, each character will be given one task. For the purposes of the test drive, we’re leaving it to players to pick a task for their character and run with it.
A Team up with another Orber and their compalion to find the orb's location.
B Climb into the clocktower and ring the bell.
C Explain your best theory regarding your compalion’s manifestation to a fellow team member.
F Y I
• This TDM covers the month of February.
• TDM threads can be used as samples for apps. In fact, we encourage it!
• Reserves are currently open!
• Apps open February 24 and will remain open until February 28.
• For any questions regarding TDM, please direct them here. For questions about the game, please refer to the FAQ.
FOR SOME FUN:
Have a clue for your upcoming mission:
part 2. sunlight room
in the sunlight room, there are days when xichen spends his time meditating or enjoying the illusion of fresh air. other days he brings liebing or his newly acquired guqin and lets the soft notes of clarity float through the space for all in need.
today, he's simply on a stroll.
the air is still as he approaches the bridge and then comes to a stop. sudden, abrupt. of all people from home, wei wuxian straddles a strange space for lan xichen. he does not wish this on anyone, but does he fault him for making a deal. after guanyin temple, he understands the complexities of his circumstances, of the regrets he may hold. he wonders which one brought this man here, if it is the same as the one that had pulled him onto this station before.
xichen is not surprised to see him here, yet nothing about seeing him sparks joy or comfort.
simply, he feels worn by the sight of him -- tired in his bones.
he takes a deep breath, realizing in that moment that he will be a strange sight for wei wuxian too. he does not look like the man the other knows, not with his hair pulled back into a loose braid and dressed in modern clothing; black jeans, an oversized white sweater with a long knitted navy cardigan over it. the forehead ribbon is not gone, but none of xichen's usual hairpieces are in sight.]
I do not remember you to be a fan of cold rivers or springs, Master Wei. [he calls out as he approaches, a greeting in a soft and gentle voice. there is no point in asking what he is doing here, by now viveca will have explained the circumstances that bind them; the deals they made. they have regret in common.] Have you been here long?
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But the sound of that voice shocks him out of his daze, enough to have him freezing up, tension a sharp line in his shoulders and back.
He's run into others here and even spoken with a few of them. It was a simple thing to put on a face and play pretend, rustle up a charming smile or ask the right question to keep attention off of him.
He doesn't rise from his position on the bridge. Doesn't turn to look at him because he can't. Not yet, not now. Not when just that voice—the familiarity of someone who knows him and knows what he's done—is enough to send his thoughts spiraling into some place dark and empty.]
Zewu-jun. [He returns, and his voice doesn't shake. It doesn't do anything at all, entirely devoid of emotion. Closing his eyes, he wishes suddenly that the bridge were higher and the icy water below deeper. He wonders if giving Zewu-Jun his back in that circumstance might be a tiny piece of penance. (It wouldn't. He knows it wouldn't.)]
Does it count as truly cold if it isn't even real? [He says finally, ignoring the second question altogether.
Still he doesn't turn to look. His hands tremble in his lap and he stares at them, clenching them into fists.]
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he watches wei wuxian for a moment, takes in the whole sight of him. compared to the man who wangji took in to cloud recess after the debacle at mo manor, this wei wuxian looks closer how xichen remembers him on the summit of nightless city. he looks young, yet worn beyond his years.] The bridge is fake and yet it supports you.
The illusions here are more realistic than what most back home can achieve. [but the most painful illusions don't require magic at all.
xichen lets out a soft sigh and walks closer on the bridge, crossing behind the younger man.] Come. There's tea and Emporer's Smile in the kitchen. That's real enough.
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The clothing Zewu-jun is wearing matches the clothing of most of the others he's seen here, and he feels a heavy weight drop into his stomach as it becomes more and more likely that the man standing in front of him isn't an illusion or hallucination at all.
Wei Wuxian is silent as he allows himself to be led out of the room.
Zewu-jun is an honorable man; far more honorable than Wei Wuxian himself. If it is punishment or warning he means to deliver, Wei Wuxian will endure it as Zewu-jun sees fit.]
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the beginning was overwhelming, he remembers, even with wangji at his side.
wei wuxian had been there too, but it's clearer now that this is not the very same man. it solidifies what he's learned from others here, what viveca has said about different timelines and interwoven realities.
in the kitchen, xichen motions to one of the tables for wei wuxian to sit down as he moves to the cabinets with ease. he knows this place now, could call it a home. it's not long before he's back with a tray which houses a teapot, two mugs, and a bottle of emperor's smile with only one glass.
for now, xichen won't be drinking. he sits down opposite the younger man, moving the bottle of wine closer to him.] What would you like to know about all this?
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He doesn't know what's happening here. Not here with his arrival and his regret, he understands that. It's strange and impossible but he understands what he needs to about it. He doesn't understand what is happening here with Zewu-jun sitting calmly in front of him and acting like Wei Wuxian deserves to drink Emperor's Smile. Like he deserves to be here alive and breathing when so many people aren't and it's his fault.
He doesn't know how to answer that question. He doesn't care. He doesn't need to know anything because it doesn't matter.
Well, no, that's not entirely true. There is one thing that matters. It's actually the only thing that matters.]
Is it real? Can they really fix something?
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wangji had made his trip but his report was redacted at best.
xichen sits in front of him patiently, waiting for the man to speak and for the tea to brew. he takes a moment to consider that, nodding slightly.] As far as we all understand, yes, in exchange for gathering Orbs back to the ship. [he takes a deep breath.] Viveca, the voice you heard explaining where you are, has explained that we can go back to an altered version of reality. [different timelines, changed realities. even the slim possibility of that is enough for him to try.]
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Good. Good that's...that's good then. [It was more than he deserved or ever thought he'd get. He only hopes he'd calculated right then. After another slow inhale, he lowers his hands back to the table and hesitantly brings his eyes up to Zewu-Jun's gaze.]
...I know I deserve punishment Zewu-jun. I know I shouldn't be here. I'll endure whatever you feel is necessary without complaint, but please allow me to stay.
[He moves then, sliding out of his chair and going to the floor on his knees beside Zewu-Jun's chair. Before Zewu-Jun can react, he's already bending over in a kowtow.]
Please, for my Shijie.
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in all those versions, he does not picture wei wuxian kowtow-ing before him. wei wuxian's downfall was his pride, wasn't it?
xichen feels more bone tired then, worn by the reality of all the things he hadn't known and still does not know.] You made a deal, Master Wei, and it was not with me. I am not the one who decides if you stay or not. [he offers a sad smile which does not reach his eyes, even if it cannot be seen.]
What I can say is that you are here and you'll find that in its own ways this place is punishment enough. [for what they'll have to do, the choices that they make to achieve their goal.]
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Only when he speaks does Wei Wuxian lifts his eyes, sitting back on his heels and staring up at him. There are words at the tip of his tongue about how Zewu-Jun might not be the one who brought him here, but he would be within his rights to cut him down. If Zewu-Jun had deemed him worthy only of a quick execution, he doesn't think he would have had the willpower to protest it. (He certainly wouldn't have the right.) But his words are answer enough to the question of his continued existence, and so the rest of the details don't really matter.
The rest of Zewu-Jun's words however have his brow furrowing lightly.]
That seems a fitting sentence for me, but unfair to someone as honorable and righteous as the first Jade of Lan. [To his credit, there isn't a trace of bitterness in his words. There is anger in him still, deep and boiling on behalf of the Wen remnant, but there is no one person to blame. For now, that anger is buried too deeply to reach anyway.]
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when he'd believed that the stain left by his --- by qingheng-jun's absence and abandonment of his sect, of the cultivation world was a distant memory instead of a dark mark on the gusu lan sect.
he'd been foolish then, those months ago. before the world had shattered and truths had been revealed. ] But there are all sorts of people who arrive here, we all have regrets and made deals. [they all make mistakes, make deals. he frowns at that, remembering something it is probably better to disclose now.
to get it over with, that shock and grief the knowledge might bring.] Wangji was here once... Your sister -- Lady Jiang is here as well.
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White noise is a crushing static in his ears, loud enough to drown out everything but his own hammering heartbeat. It's going fast—way faster than a moment ago—and he's glad he's on his knees because if he were standing he's sure his legs wouldn't support him. "Lady Jiang is here." Shijie is here. Impossibly, but just as possible as his own existence, isn't it? Both of them are dead, why should he alone...it's completely possible. Shijie is here, she's here, she's—
His chest is a hollow cave of bone and his hands are on the ground. He doesn't remember putting them there. His heart is beating so fast. It hurts. His chest hurts and his eyes hurt and—]
Shijie? [He asks and wishes he hadn't.
He doesn't deserve to say her name. He doesn't deserve to speak to her. To see her. To what, apologize? I'm sorry I ruined your life, I'm sorry I orphaned your son, I'm sorry everything I touch dies and that included you. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. His eyes are closed and he presses a single hand to his chest and tries to breathe.]
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even as his own world shattered, it was better to know. still, seeing what the truth can do to others -- seeing it after ford has panic welling in xichen's chest. something feels wrong, for a moment he feels light-headed and then it passes. too quick for him to worry, when wei wuxian is panicking at his feet.
he takes a deep breath, then another before pushing himself up from his seat to then kneel next to wei wuxian on the floor. he does not bridge the gap between them, does not offer the comfort of touch and tether. it would be a farce, when lan xichen once stood with the crowd gathered beneath the rooftops of nightless city. even if in nearly two decades time, he tells the very man family secrets and assures him that he has xichen's trust.
the wei wuxian before him reminds him more of the young man on that roof, the one crazed as he pulled an arrow from his chest.] Breathe, Master Wei. Slowly. Breathe in, then out.
CW: suicidal thoughts
Breathe, he says, and Wei Wuxian wants to make a joke of it. Isn't breathing easy? Doesn't it happen without any consideration at all? His aching lungs are proof to the contrary.
He lowers his eyes again and lets them fall closed.
He should probably listen to Zewu-jun. He parts his lips and tries to suck in a mouthful of air, but it hits a wall in the back of his throat and gets caught there, stuttering and shallow. Still he tries again, and then again until it starts to get easier, his inhales deeper and his exhales less tremulous.
I don't want to be here, he thinks all at once, the same way he did on that cliff in Nightless City. I don't want to be here anymore. Only there is no cliff to jump from this time, and he has a duty to remain. It isn't up to him. It doesn't matter what he wants. His eyes are still closed and he's breathing now, in and out just like he's supposed to, traitorous heart continuing to beat. If he had it in him to be embarrassed, he might not be able to look Zewu-jun in the eyes now, but he doesn't. Zewu-jun has seem him at far worse times than this.]
...she...she shouldn't have to know I'm here. [It's stupidly impractical and later he will realize it, but it's the only thing he can think of now. The only way forward that he can see.]
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or at least, more steady than it had been moments before.
he wonders if this is what jiang yanli saw him when she had found him in the simulation, lost in panic and turning the hanshi into a shell of itself. he had been panicked then, unable to breathe. no, not quite like this though. this is something more raw, a grief worth more than his own.
xichen sits back, does not stand yet.] I will not let her know you have arrived. [his word is worth something still.] But you will have to face her eventually, Master Wei.
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Avoiding responding to that inevitability, he finally summons his voice, quiet and cracked as he finds it.]
Is she...[Alright. No, she's not alright, she's dead.] Is someone looking after her?
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he has been checking in on jiang yanli, reaching out on missions to ensure she is alright and well. that she is safe. yet, at the same time, he is finding there isn't always a need to do so.] I have.
[and then a careful smile.] But Lady Jiang is resourceful and has held her own on our missions without my support. [he thinks there are plenty on the station would call her their friend, would come to her aid before she asked.]
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Good. She's always been...she was always strong. Everyone underestimated her but she was so strong. [His voice almost breaks on the last word and he closes his eyes, focusing on his breathing until he can be sure he has control of himself. When he speaks again, his voice doesn't crack.]
Thank you. For...[Checking in with her. Being there for her when he couldn't be. Zewu-jun would have been a much better brother to her, he's sure.]
Just. Thank you. [Someone had told him recently that he should always gives his thanks when he can. No one ever knows when they might not get another chance.]