[ The instinct to slow down and check in comes first, always, and Sam has to breathe slowly through it. It's not that he doesn't see the way this hits Tony - there's a story there Sam doesn't know it detail, but he can take a couple educated guesses. He knows Steve and Bucky walked away from Siberia after fighting Tony. Doesn't know all the details, but a reaction like this to hearing about how brutally Walker put blood on the shield...
Yeah, Sam doesn't think that's just grief over a symbol tainted.
Still, he reels compassion and empathy in, because he's been here before - with Bucky, even with Rhodey. Everyone has an opinion on him and the shield, and the choices he made. Sam leans his hips against a counter, crosses his arms. It doesn't tend to be a defensive gesture with him - more times than not, Sam crosses his arms when he's thinking and doesn't want to fidget, or make big gestures that will make him look angry during a discussion. Now the gesture reads purely defensive though. Something closes in his face, carefully and deliberately - and practiced, too. He didn't cry at the Smithsonian until Rhodey left the exhibit. He didn't cry over the bloody shield until Bucky left the room. Sam knows how to stay carefully detached and blank, safe for the tension in his jawline.
It's not anger. He holds himself like someone fully expecting a blow, bracing for it. ]
Yes and no. Steve didn't ask. But he didgive me the shield, said it was mine, then left into retirement.
[ That still stings as hard as it did on the day. The knowledge that Steve talked to Bucky, said his goodbyes to Bucky and informed Bucky of this plan while blindsiding Sam with both of these monumental bombs to drop... Sam had still been reeling from having lost five years, from two back to back massive battles (well, back to back for him anyway), from watching Tony die, from learning about Natasha's death... and then Steve had walked backwards in time without so much as a good-bye, and thrust the shield into Sam's arms without asking if he wanted to bear that burden.
Sam doesn't begrudge Steve his happy ending, doesn't hate the man for this mess - but he can't help but resent the way Steve chose to put this on him. How in the end, Sam wasn't worth a heads up or the courtesy of his own choice.
Sam takes a slow, deep breath. Releases it very deliberately, because he has no interest in losing his cool - his frustration isn't with Tony, but Sam has no desire to step back into the sorts of arguments he had with Bucky about this matter. ]
I thought I was doing the right thing, putting it to rest in the Smithsonian. Preserve that legacy as it was for better or worse. History of that shield is... complicated. It ain't that kinda symbol for a lotta people.
[ He leaves it at that - either Tony gets it or he doesn't, but Sam doesn't owe him any more of a history lesson than he did Bucky. The chances that Tony, for all his privilege, gets it are at least a little higher than they were with Bucky before he came around.
Sam drops his gaze, frowns at the pure white floor under his feet. Lightly scuffs his shoe against the pristine surface, knows any mark he leaves will be cleaned by the tiny angry robot later. ]
So... yeah. Steve didn't ask. He chose it for me, and I put it away. After Walker, I took it back. Only now the mantle's my own choice. No matter who approves or disapproves.
[ Sam looks back up. So - yeah. The joke was that it's not 'Chief' these days. These days... it's Captain America.
And Sam might look calmly defensive about it, but there's something more apprehensive lying under that. Tony's got history with this shield, and Tony's got history with Steve. Compared to that, Tony barely knows Sam - who is, end of the day, just a dude in a jetpack.
So Sam's braced to pretend like the disapproval he expects wouldn't cut. ]
no subject
Yeah, Sam doesn't think that's just grief over a symbol tainted.
Still, he reels compassion and empathy in, because he's been here before - with Bucky, even with Rhodey. Everyone has an opinion on him and the shield, and the choices he made. Sam leans his hips against a counter, crosses his arms. It doesn't tend to be a defensive gesture with him - more times than not, Sam crosses his arms when he's thinking and doesn't want to fidget, or make big gestures that will make him look angry during a discussion. Now the gesture reads purely defensive though. Something closes in his face, carefully and deliberately - and practiced, too. He didn't cry at the Smithsonian until Rhodey left the exhibit. He didn't cry over the bloody shield until Bucky left the room. Sam knows how to stay carefully detached and blank, safe for the tension in his jawline.
It's not anger. He holds himself like someone fully expecting a blow, bracing for it. ]
Yes and no. Steve didn't ask. But he didgive me the shield, said it was mine, then left into retirement.
[ That still stings as hard as it did on the day. The knowledge that Steve talked to Bucky, said his goodbyes to Bucky and informed Bucky of this plan while blindsiding Sam with both of these monumental bombs to drop... Sam had still been reeling from having lost five years, from two back to back massive battles (well, back to back for him anyway), from watching Tony die, from learning about Natasha's death... and then Steve had walked backwards in time without so much as a good-bye, and thrust the shield into Sam's arms without asking if he wanted to bear that burden.
Sam doesn't begrudge Steve his happy ending, doesn't hate the man for this mess - but he can't help but resent the way Steve chose to put this on him. How in the end, Sam wasn't worth a heads up or the courtesy of his own choice.
Sam takes a slow, deep breath. Releases it very deliberately, because he has no interest in losing his cool - his frustration isn't with Tony, but Sam has no desire to step back into the sorts of arguments he had with Bucky about this matter. ]
I thought I was doing the right thing, putting it to rest in the Smithsonian. Preserve that legacy as it was for better or worse. History of that shield is... complicated. It ain't that kinda symbol for a lotta people.
[ He leaves it at that - either Tony gets it or he doesn't, but Sam doesn't owe him any more of a history lesson than he did Bucky. The chances that Tony, for all his privilege, gets it are at least a little higher than they were with Bucky before he came around.
Sam drops his gaze, frowns at the pure white floor under his feet. Lightly scuffs his shoe against the pristine surface, knows any mark he leaves will be cleaned by the tiny angry robot later. ]
So... yeah. Steve didn't ask. He chose it for me, and I put it away. After Walker, I took it back. Only now the mantle's my own choice. No matter who approves or disapproves.
[ Sam looks back up. So - yeah. The joke was that it's not 'Chief' these days. These days... it's Captain America.
And Sam might look calmly defensive about it, but there's something more apprehensive lying under that. Tony's got history with this shield, and Tony's got history with Steve. Compared to that, Tony barely knows Sam - who is, end of the day, just a dude in a jetpack.
So Sam's braced to pretend like the disapproval he expects wouldn't cut. ]