( He catches himself on a noncommittal "Oh", on the assurance that rises first above all else, that he won't freak out at the sight of Bucky Barnes, that seven years was long enough to square with what HYDRA, not Barnes, had done to all of them, to mourn all over again and put the past behind him.
Then Sam's got to go and drop that kind of bombshell.
Tony blanches. Sinks back heavily in his seat and hasn't the wherewithal to pretend that the chair back digging into his tender shoulder doesn't hurt. It's grounding, the way only physical pain can be sometimes, leaching out and satisfying the shock, the tide of grief. They had next to no time for anything but the mission, tacit agreement: "After it's finished", but After was Thanos, and destruction, and then his own death.
He doesn't realize his hand has slid off the table, either, or that he's gone and wrapped it around his bandaged wrist, rubbing it deeply, an unconscious effort to self-soothe he can't even register because he can't feel it. Blindly, he thinks he's holding himself together pretty well, even before he's aware his fingertips are damp with serous. )
cw: self-harm, burns
Then Sam's got to go and drop that kind of bombshell.
Tony blanches. Sinks back heavily in his seat and hasn't the wherewithal to pretend that the chair back digging into his tender shoulder doesn't hurt. It's grounding, the way only physical pain can be sometimes, leaching out and satisfying the shock, the tide of grief. They had next to no time for anything but the mission, tacit agreement: "After it's finished", but After was Thanos, and destruction, and then his own death.
He doesn't realize his hand has slid off the table, either, or that he's gone and wrapped it around his bandaged wrist, rubbing it deeply, an unconscious effort to self-soothe he can't even register because he can't feel it. Blindly, he thinks he's holding himself together pretty well, even before he's aware his fingertips are damp with serous. )
Does she know?