elbowroom: (Smile)
Jonesy ([personal profile] elbowroom) wrote in [community profile] ximiliugh 2021-08-22 02:32 pm (UTC)

[She straightens her back a little and sits up to look him in the eyes. Her expression shifts from a lackadaisical one to something a little more serious.

She isn't going to touch on the shedding thing just yet. There's something about the way he said that first part that bothered her.
]

Now wait, hold up.

[It's not that he was dismissive - that's something she's used to. It's a reaction she actively angles for a lot of the time. But there's something about the phrase 'if that's how you feel about yourself' that says something about her self image that she can't let stand.]

It's not about how I feel about myself. I like myself, more or less.

[She pauses for a moment to choose her words carefully. Akechi may seem pretty clever, but in the end he is a teenager. Emotional intelligence isn't bound to be his strong suit, so she wants to explain this well.]

When I was a kid, something bad and really painful happened to me. It changed how I look, how I walk, the places I'm allowed to go, the way I need to talk to people, and the way people talk to me. Just about every aspect of my life.

I'm very good at what I do, and I like the person I've become. But that doesn't mean that my life hasn't been wholly and irrevocably shaped by what I am. And I am going to use whatever shorthand that I deem appropriate to talk about this very big aspect of my life.

[She pauses and looks at him for a moment, trying to get a read on whether or not he gets it. It's not strictly a self esteem thing for her - this is something she's thought about very deeply.

After a second, Jonesy settles down and leans back again, resuming her carefree, relaxed posture. She takes another hit of her vape.
]

And no, I don't shed.

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