[ It worked and he still lost. To Yzak, that's more a pain than a comfort, because it doesn't change anything in the end. Hollow victories aren't unfamiliar to him, but this one just feels cruel. Months of agonizing, of trying to live beneath a precariously swinging sword over their heads, desperate to escape it. And then searching for some way, any way and actually finding it. Maybe he shouldn't have let hope bubble up inside of him as much as it did when Viveca told him there was a chance to do something like Entr'i had done when everything came to end on Giva. But Yzak is stubborn, determined, hard working, and in this case he had the bonus of being in love and realizing how overwhelmingly powerful that feeling was to go to any lengths to hold onto. And when something seems difficult or impossible then he's all the more set on taking it on.
So he did. And he won. Or he thought he won. He barely got to let that feeling sink in, barely got to enjoy the taste of a life that he never wanted to hope too hard for and realized he wanted more than anything before it was ripped away from him like a sick joke, mocking him.
His mouth twists into something of a sardonic smile. ]
It worked. And it still ended the same way. [ Blue is still gone. Which means if he's back in his universe (because that's how it goes and once upon a time Yzak wanted to look into that, too, speak to Sabriel, ask her more about Remi's magic to travel from world to world and the notes she obtained, but now he's lost and he's failed so he should have known better than to even consider the thought) which means he's still dead. Same end result, as if he didn't need to give up his arm and a chunk of his lifespan in the first place. And now those are gone, too, an additional fuck you to really make it stick and he's even less whole than he'd be if he still had them.
And speaking of it again doesn't hurt any less despite the time that's passed, the pressure deep in his chest squeezing, threatening to pull all of his breath away as though it all happened merely moments ago. ]
... Yeah.
[ Is the only reply he can muster to Finn's 'sorry', eyes still downcast to the snow. An acceptance and a thank you, appreciated, despite it feeling like it barely helps or changes a thing. ]
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So he did. And he won. Or he thought he won. He barely got to let that feeling sink in, barely got to enjoy the taste of a life that he never wanted to hope too hard for and realized he wanted more than anything before it was ripped away from him like a sick joke, mocking him.
His mouth twists into something of a sardonic smile. ]
It worked. And it still ended the same way. [ Blue is still gone. Which means if he's back in his universe (because that's how it goes and once upon a time Yzak wanted to look into that, too, speak to Sabriel, ask her more about Remi's magic to travel from world to world and the notes she obtained, but now he's lost and he's failed so he should have known better than to even consider the thought) which means he's still dead. Same end result, as if he didn't need to give up his arm and a chunk of his lifespan in the first place. And now those are gone, too, an additional fuck you to really make it stick and he's even less whole than he'd be if he still had them.
And speaking of it again doesn't hurt any less despite the time that's passed, the pressure deep in his chest squeezing, threatening to pull all of his breath away as though it all happened merely moments ago. ]
... Yeah.
[ Is the only reply he can muster to Finn's 'sorry', eyes still downcast to the snow. An acceptance and a thank you, appreciated, despite it feeling like it barely helps or changes a thing. ]