[ jake is going to earn a bit of a long stare, paired with tight brows as columbo stares back at him. there's no gasp or scream about a talking dog, even if that's what the detective here very much has on his mind. just a long stare like he's thinking before he raises his hand, shaking his finger in a point. ]

You know, I got a dog. Big one. Heavy. Just likes to lounge around and eat. Beautiful dog, just lazy. But he doesn't talk.

[ as a dog probably shouldn't. but that's not the issue here. ]

Always asking him questions and what does he answer? Nothing. Just stares. Imagine how much easier my life would be if he talked like you. Maybe he'd finally tell me what to call him.