[The rest of Zewu-jun's words fade into the background, but those last words...that last sentence...
White noise is a crushing static in his ears, loud enough to drown out everything but his own hammering heartbeat. It's going fast—way faster than a moment ago—and he's glad he's on his knees because if he were standing he's sure his legs wouldn't support him. "Lady Jiang is here." Shijie is here. Impossibly, but just as possible as his own existence, isn't it? Both of them are dead, why should he alone...it's completely possible. Shijie is here, she's here, she's—
His chest is a hollow cave of bone and his hands are on the ground. He doesn't remember putting them there. His heart is beating so fast. It hurts. His chest hurts and his eyes hurt and—]
Shijie? [He asks and wishes he hadn't.
He doesn't deserve to say her name. He doesn't deserve to speak to her. To see her. To what, apologize? I'm sorry I ruined your life, I'm sorry I orphaned your son, I'm sorry everything I touch dies and that included you. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. His eyes are closed and he presses a single hand to his chest and tries to breathe.]
no subject
White noise is a crushing static in his ears, loud enough to drown out everything but his own hammering heartbeat. It's going fast—way faster than a moment ago—and he's glad he's on his knees because if he were standing he's sure his legs wouldn't support him. "Lady Jiang is here." Shijie is here. Impossibly, but just as possible as his own existence, isn't it? Both of them are dead, why should he alone...it's completely possible. Shijie is here, she's here, she's—
His chest is a hollow cave of bone and his hands are on the ground. He doesn't remember putting them there. His heart is beating so fast. It hurts. His chest hurts and his eyes hurt and—]
Shijie? [He asks and wishes he hadn't.
He doesn't deserve to say her name. He doesn't deserve to speak to her. To see her. To what, apologize? I'm sorry I ruined your life, I'm sorry I orphaned your son, I'm sorry everything I touch dies and that included you. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. His eyes are closed and he presses a single hand to his chest and tries to breathe.]