( something whole and huge pieces itself back together at her kiss. he did more than just miss this — he ached, empty and broken, and he swallowed it down, every single day. buried his grief so deeply inside of him, he hadn't realize how hard he'd taken her absence until right now, with her before him, kissing him. completing him.
sometimes, he feels so much, so full, he isn't sure how he contains any of what he feels for her.
he knows what she's talking about. staying lost in her eyes for a moment longer, he eventually breaks the trance and nods, gesturing around them. )
Alina. ( like it's an explanation. he frowns, the lines of his mouth setting hardly. ) It's hard to know where to begin. I suppose — I wasn't in a very good place, when I arrived here. It was ( his mouth warbles, trying to find the right words to say. this is feyre, though. he doesn't hide anything from her. ) lonely. Like I was back Under the Mountain in a way, except ... Velaris felt so far from me. You felt so far. The only things keeping me sane were just gone, just like that. We went to this world, Braccia, and went undercover as husband and wife, so I could protect her. I fell back on who I was with Amarantha, her whore and her pet. But ... I suppose it spiraled from there.
( missing his own wife. finding something similar in someone else — someone delicate, and strong, and endlessly good to make up for all of rhys' bad. he shrugs, and it's a little pained. he hates to hurt anyone, and fears he might've hurt the two most important people here, through his own selfishness. his own greed for love, his own surprise to have found not one person but two, capable of wanting him. )
She took care of me. Alina. Gave me something to focus on. Called me out, when I was being less than. ( a hand pulls back so he can rub the center of his chest, the place that used to hurt so badly when he thought of feyre. ) I told her about you. When I — when it didn't hurt so badly, to talk about. It was something she brought out of me, that got easier as we opened up to each other. I told her what you mean to me, in the too small and inadequate words that I have. Do you know what she said? ( of course she doesn't. rhys offers her a small smile. ) She said we have the same eyes. And I thought, that was the most perfect thing she could've told me. That something of mine might be something of yours. That — you might be here with me, even when you're not. I didn't feel so lonely after then. Because I had Alina, but because I could look in the mirror, and have you, too.
So ... that's that. ( uncomfortably, he rocks on his heels, moving his hands down to catch her hands. interlacing them. ) I'm in love with you, Feyre. You're my best friend. Forever. If I've hurt you, the fault is mine. Not Alina's, and certainly not yours. I will spend every day that I've promised you in eternity trying to make up for the pain I've caused. If you allow it.
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sometimes, he feels so much, so full, he isn't sure how he contains any of what he feels for her.
he knows what she's talking about. staying lost in her eyes for a moment longer, he eventually breaks the trance and nods, gesturing around them. )
Alina. ( like it's an explanation. he frowns, the lines of his mouth setting hardly. ) It's hard to know where to begin. I suppose — I wasn't in a very good place, when I arrived here. It was ( his mouth warbles, trying to find the right words to say. this is feyre, though. he doesn't hide anything from her. ) lonely. Like I was back Under the Mountain in a way, except ... Velaris felt so far from me. You felt so far. The only things keeping me sane were just gone, just like that. We went to this world, Braccia, and went undercover as husband and wife, so I could protect her. I fell back on who I was with Amarantha, her whore and her pet. But ... I suppose it spiraled from there.
( missing his own wife. finding something similar in someone else — someone delicate, and strong, and endlessly good to make up for all of rhys' bad. he shrugs, and it's a little pained. he hates to hurt anyone, and fears he might've hurt the two most important people here, through his own selfishness. his own greed for love, his own surprise to have found not one person but two, capable of wanting him. )
She took care of me. Alina. Gave me something to focus on. Called me out, when I was being less than. ( a hand pulls back so he can rub the center of his chest, the place that used to hurt so badly when he thought of feyre. ) I told her about you. When I — when it didn't hurt so badly, to talk about. It was something she brought out of me, that got easier as we opened up to each other. I told her what you mean to me, in the too small and inadequate words that I have. Do you know what she said? ( of course she doesn't. rhys offers her a small smile. ) She said we have the same eyes. And I thought, that was the most perfect thing she could've told me. That something of mine might be something of yours. That — you might be here with me, even when you're not. I didn't feel so lonely after then. Because I had Alina, but because I could look in the mirror, and have you, too.
So ... that's that. ( uncomfortably, he rocks on his heels, moving his hands down to catch her hands. interlacing them. ) I'm in love with you, Feyre. You're my best friend. Forever. If I've hurt you, the fault is mine. Not Alina's, and certainly not yours. I will spend every day that I've promised you in eternity trying to make up for the pain I've caused. If you allow it.